Coming To Terms
by The Scarlet Rose
Summary: Sequal to "Welcome Home." "This place, isn’t heaven. Shuichi isn’t here. This isn’t home. No. Everything here is sharp and bright. Everything here crumbles and turns to ashes and never makes sense." Yuki has a choice. Stay the same or come to terms.


Disclaimer: No, I do not Eiri Yuki or any of the other characters of Gravitation

Disclaimer: No, I do not Eiri Yuki or any of the other characters of Gravitation. They all belong to Maki Murakami, Tokyopop, Right Stuff… whoever

This place, isn't heaven. Shuichi isn't here. This isn't _home_.

No. Everything here is sharp and bright. Course and hard. Everything here crumbles and turns to ashes and never makes sense.

This place. This oddly white, uncommonly cold room with bars on the windows, and elevator music playing through speakers hidden somewhere in the ceiling, far away from the range of my ravishing hands. This was Hell. The Devil came everyday at noon in the form of a busty blonde nurse who sweet talked me while shoving pills down my throat with long acrylic nails.

This was indeed Hell. I had officially succeeded in pushing myself to the 9th rung of hell. Two demon heads on either side of me. Sinners to my right. Blasphemers to my left.

Ah, speak of Judas himself.

"Eiri."

It was a good thing they kept my hands tied down, or else I might've earned my place in the Devil's main mouth.

I didn't answer, only turned my head towards the window, only to be disappointed to find my view of a pigeon who had taken to nesting outside my window was obscured by one of the bars.

"Eiri. Are you ready to talk today?"

I didn't answer. I only cringed as I heard the sound of metal scraping over linoleum. A sure sign that he had pulled up a chair. He planned on staying for a while.

Let 1,000 years of purgatory begin.

'_Yuki?'_

What?

'_He's not going to leave… is he?'_

He will eventually. Eventually they all do. We just have to wait them out.

"Eiri. I'm here to help you."

I didn't respond. Eventually, his words would drown out into nothingness as the 'Anti-Crazy' pills The Devil slipped me earlier start to kick in.

And then, I would sleep.

"Eiri."

Tohma's hand was in mine. I would've broken his fingers if I had the strength. Because of my unwillingness to talk, I had been confined to my room, namely my bed, and denied physical therapy.

"Eiri. I'll wait as long as it takes."

This was a new one. Now Seguchi was going to play the waiting game right along with me.

I couldn't take that. With him here, they'd make me stay awake. And if I couldn't sleep, I couldn't see Shuichi.

I had to get rid of him, but I couldn't think of the right words to appease the 'Great Tohma Seguchi.'

After a while of pondering, a smile came to my lips.

Making my face a blank slate, I turned to Tohma, my mouth quivering as if searching for the right words.

And then I did it.

I cried.

It was only a silent sob, tears rolling in thick tracks down my pale cheeks, but it was an emotion other than anger at the fact that he brought me back and kept me here.

"E-Eiri…" Tohma began, at a loss for words as he moved forward to comfort me "It's alright, shs. You're safe, everything's…"

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Academy Award goes to…

His words began to blur as the pills kicked in.

'_You cried?'_

It worked, didn't it?

'_You look tired, Yuki.'_

A smile came to my lips. Doped up on God knows what, being cuddled in Tohma's arms, I fell asleep, I slipped away.

"I'll help you." Tohma spoke "I'll help you come to--."

I awoke to realize I was talking.

My eyes were alert. My lips were moving. I was nodding along with the doctor's words.

And suddenly, a new game popped into my head.

I would play along.

Instead of my forced resistance, my obvious eagerness to die, I would do what they asked. I would laugh and smile. Flirt back with my nurse. Ask for my laptop so I could work.

I would do my physical therapy with eagerness. I would say the ink blot reminded me of my mother's face, not Shuichi's. I would not be strangely attracted to brightly colored hair, have a new found addiction to Pocky.

'No Doctor, I don't need pills to help me sleep tonight. Yes, the shit music playing in my room is keeping my mind calm

No, I most certainly do not hear Shuichi's voice in my head. Of course, he isn't still alive, touchable and tangible in a world only accessible to me.

Yes, I'm well aware that Shuichi's dead.

No. I'm not insane.'

Playing this game would gain me movement. Gain me access to new medicines that make you sleep for days. To physical therapy and strong hand and fingers. To areas outside my hospital room.

This game would allow me to go outside. To go home. To free myself from Hell and he acrylic-covered, silicon-filled Devil who's now standing outside my door.

I would do whatever it took for that end.

I would 'deal'. I would grieve. I would mourn and move on. I would come to terms.


End file.
